This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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