I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
