so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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