I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
