just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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