he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
