She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize