How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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