My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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