I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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