so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
