i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
