so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
