the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize