so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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