K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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