Nicole vs. Life
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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