it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
