SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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