I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize