I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
