I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
