finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
