yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
