I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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