you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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