Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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