The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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