It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
