my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
