youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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