In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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