Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
