If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
