tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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