i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
