I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
