this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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