she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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