i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize