grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
