so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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