I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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