1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
