Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize