Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
