so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
