Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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