i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
