Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
