Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
