True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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