And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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