oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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