wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
vagina is talking i cant
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
