I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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