dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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