she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
