No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
