that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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