My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
