I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
