he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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