Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
pray to the hookup gods
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
