Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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