Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
