a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
