I need help removing her.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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