some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
