Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
