i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
