Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
