What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
