so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
